Zombies in Springtime -- Chapter 1 -- Fresh Cut

Zombies in Springtime

Chapter 1 - Fresh Cut

Dusk settled in like a wet blanket in Spoon County, Mississippi. The rocking chair rythmically creaked against Lanny Kane's porch as he enjoyed a few puffs of Rum tobacco from his wicker pipe. He surveyed his expansive lawn. The freshly cut blades filled his nostrils and won over a smile. Some porches in Spoons were plagued by mosquitos at this hour, but not Lanny 's.

These moments were hard to come by so he knew he should enjoy it while it lasted. Even so, it was significant work to hold off the nagging feeling of needing to get back to something. Even in rest, Lanny found it impossible to completely relax.

Among the many threads of thought that tried to steal his consciousness away from the pleasurable moment, there was the oddness of the young man Lanny had paid to mow the lawn. The gait in his walk was so lethargic. His complexion was almost gray. He looked like death, but yet he plodded up and down the 3 acre lawn with the determination of a mule. He never fettered--not once. Lanny imagined that he could have held a stopwatch on the kid and that his right foot would have landed in a straight line with the mailbox at exactly the same tick on every pass.

He completed his work without a single break, and as far as Lanny could tell--and as unlikely as it seemed--without a single bead of sweat. Lanny had counted three pauses to stop and fill the mower with gas. Each of these took almost exactly the same amount of time. The young man had stopped the mower, walked in a straight line to his dusty red Ford pickup truck, grabbed the gas can, and walked the same straight line back to the mower. He returned the gas can to the pickup truck along the same path. All in all, it took nearly five hours for him to mow the lawn from start to finish. Originally, Lanny and the young man had agreed on fifty dollars, but after watching the young man consume most of his day, Lanny felt compelled to wrinkle in an extra thirty. He thought the kid was most likely a retard--one of those funny retards that don't really seem retarded until you see them doing something that makes them look really awkward and out of place. Taking five hours to mow a lawn for fifty dollars was definitely retarded, Lanny thought.

As awkward and friggin retarded as he seemed, the young man reminded Lanny of some students he had occasionally seen walking the halls at Spoon County Community College. Lanny had been teaching there since moving to Spoon County six months ago. SCCC was a pretty run of the mill Community College. About 70% of the population were young kids--barely motivated--most of whom would probably never have jobs remotely related to their "studies." The other 30% were old people who had once been in that 70% and lived a worthless life and eventually decided to go back to school and make a little something of themselves.

Lanny remembered seeing one of these gray kids in the bathroom. He was postured in front of the urinal taking a whiz which is what Lanny was on his way to do. Lanny squared off in front of the porcelain and unzipped his pants. Lanny was about to start whizzing when he caught a whiff of the gray kid. His throat tightened, his stomach recoiled and he ended up barfing a mouthful of stinging chunks into his nose and onto his shirt and tie. The gray kid smelled like dead decaying animals, but like a pile of thirty furry ones with flies swarming all over them, and like you were getting your face shoved hard and fast into the fur and rubbed around.

"What the fuck? What the-- Jesus Christ! What is that smell?"

Lanny had no idea what the hellish odor was, or that it was even possible that a human could produce it.

"Sorry," he heard the gray kid say.

"What, did you bring something dead in here? What the fuck is it?"

"I just had lunch." The gray kid started to chuckle a malevolent sounding chuckle that seemed to grow louder and louder as Lanny hurriedly zipped his pants and made a quick dart for the door without having relieved his bladder.

Lanny was so disturbed, six hours went by before he remembered he had to piss.